My Daddy Knows.............

"For you he's the best he can be....Your Daddy's love come with a lifetime guarantee."

No big secret to anyone, I love my Daddy. No past tense, because even though he's not physically here with me I still LOVE him. There was never a time when I ever questioned if he loved me. That's not to say he was perfect (no one is) or that I was never mad at or disappointed by something he did/didn't do. I was never delusional about the person my Daddy was. I knew he was a flirt, a gambler, a joker and if you made him mad.......Ooooowwwweeee, let's just say you didn't want to do that.
Even though we were miles apart, my Daddy was a very important part of my life. He knew that. He also knew that he could make me smile no matter how I felt about what was going on in my life. He knew that if there was something I needed that he couldn't give me right away that he had better tell me straight up and not beat around the bush, because then I'd be mad and he needed to WATCH OUT. LOL...I can't remember ever really making my Daddy "mad"....I do know he never spanked me, neither did my Mama...I guess they never had to. Not to say I was an angel, by no means....I was a brat, I know...Still am a little spoiled. My Mama didn't believe in spanking me because she felt her mother spanked her and her siblings TOO MUCH. My Daddy believed in spanking, but all he would have to do is give me a "tone" of disappointment and I would be devastated.

I've often heard the saying, "The best thing a father can do for his child is love their mother." My Daddy did that for me. Even though they were no longer together, I knew and I'm sure she knew. He still loved her a lot. Not particularly romantically, but love for her because she gave him me. Because they would always be connected through me.......I remember the last time they saw each other. We had just drove up from Gary to Long Island because my Uncle Frank, my Aunt Tommie's husband, had just died. We never told Daddy he died, because they were buddies and we didn't want to upset him and risk him having another episode. Before we headed on the drive back to Indiana we headed up to Harlem to see Daddy in the nursing home. My Daddy saw me walk in and gave me my usual smile and "Hello Baby", but when he saw my Mama, he got a wide almost sly smile and said, "Hello Cutie." She smiled and kissed his forehead. I noticed her cry, I think because she knew we wouldn't see him again after that day. I was the only fool who thought that I had more time.

I didn't know that on my first wedding anniversary I would get that phone a call in the middle of the night pick up the phone, hear his girlfriend Geri say, "Hi Baby." That was all I heard, I just cried into the phone I really don't think I wanted to hear her say it. I just knew, why else would she call me that time of night? That just makes me realize that I never allowed anyone to actually SAY to me that my father OR mother were gone. I didn't let Geri speak it on the phone and at the hospital I didn't let the doctor say it about my Mama. Almost like if they don't say it, it isn't true....But not hearing it doesn't make it go away...Doesn't bring them back...Doesn't make me not sad on his birthday, her birthday, the holidays, when I want to tell them something, etc.......
Like today I want to tell him ~ Happy 81st Daddy, I Love You!........

I thank and appreciate all who will read. Peace.