Breaks Over...........

I took a "break" from blogging yesterday.  Thought I'd give my mind a "rest"....Of course my mind did just the opposite.  I think I thought MORE since I didn't write anything down.  I also felt like I wasted SO MUCH TIME.....
I feel like that a lot lately.  Although I know I get things accomplished with my business, my home is not in disarray, Dylan get what she needs (NEEDS she "wants" a lot, lol)....I feel like I'm NOT doing something.  I do forget to do things during the course of any given day and get mad at myself about it.  Interesting enough, the things I forget to do are normally something I need to do for me or so small (like buying paper towel) that it's not a big deal and I can do it later.  So, that shows me that the forgetfulness is selective. 
Am I forgetting to do things for me on purpose?  I honestly can not remember outside of my laptop (which I bought primarily for my business) the last time I bought myself something I didn't NEED.....I mean yes, I have to watch my budget a little closer now with my business and other personal things going on, but I used to always believe in buying something just because I liked it at least once a month to pamper myself.  I think I bought my laptop in April and like I said, I was thinking of business more so than my entertainment (although it serves both).
When I evaluate, which I often do (sometimes too much), why I haven't bought myself anything.....It's not because of the money.  I mean I'm not balling, but I'm not sleeping under an overpass either.  I REALLY think after careful consideration that I haven't done it, because I don't have a desire for anything AND I don't feel worthy of anything.  I had to force myself to answer that hated question, "what do you want for Christmas?"  I really didn't want anything and honestly I don't like when people ask that question.  I think a gift is something you give from the heart and when I give gifts I like to look at what I see a person does not have and may want and get that for them.  That way they are pleasantly surprised.  Now with my children, I know they want some of EVERYTHING, so I do ask them.  Sometimes when people ask me that, my first instinct is to say, "My Mama".  But, I think that would be mean and make someone pity me unnecessarily.  So this year I actually thought of something I needed (house slippers because the dog at my other ones)...That was the only thing I REALLY wanted for Christmas....Something that I NEEDED because I hate to walk around barefoot.
Instead of taking a "break" from writing yesterday, I should have focused on taking a "break" from sulking/whining/crying.  I've been doing them all for WAY too long.  Unfortunately, I'm on overtime with that...break-time hasn't come.....

I thank and appreciate all who will read.  Peace.