Come on Sons.....

"Y'all niggas deal with emotions like bitches. What's sad is I love you cuz you my brother....."

Yeah, yeah I know....Nasir goes hard on Jay Z with that line....But, whenever I hear that line, it rings so true to me.

Over the past few months, my perception of men. Actually my perception of black men specifically (because they're the ones I care about, #realtalk) has been altered a little....well....A LOT.

Ok, ok....before some stop reading, let me put this disclaimer out there:

"I LOVE MY BLACK WARRIORS. I GAVE LIFE TO A BLACK WARRIOR. I AM NOT TRYING TO BASH, DEMEAN, DEGRADE, DISRESPECT....BUT JUST LIKE MEN ACKNOWLEDGE OUR FLAWS AS BLACK WOMEN....IT IS VERY NECESSARY I ADDRESS THIS."

Men these days....Excuse me, SOME men these days are acting REALLY FEMININE.....I mean the *side eye*, wtf, O_o type of feminine.....And this is REALLY starting to unnerve me!

Seriously, I'm starting to feel like I'm in some sort of parallel universe or Bizarro World. Where gender roles have been switched completely.

Dudes are wigging out over ended relationships. Doing things strictly for spite/revenge. Behaving like the stereotypical "woMAN scorned" instead of moving on. Leaving the women to wonder, "Damn! Was it that good to him? SHEESH!" LOL...just kidding/not really.

Then we have dudes being EXTREMELY over-sensitive these days. Like they're the ones who are PMSing or MENopausal. You have to "tip-toe" around everything you say/do with them or they'll jump all over you like a guilty cheating spouse who's trying to blame you for their cheating ways.

Next, we have these "Wallona Woods" type dudes emerging. The "Rona Barretts of the projects" *James Evans' voice* so to speak. These are the ones looking for, welcoming & spreading all the latest "dish". Very seldom checking out stories & often naming false sources to make their story more believable. It's no longer true at all that women gossip more than men. I've seen with my own eyes a dude come up with the..."Did you hear about?" Then I'll say, "Naw, I didn't & I really don't want to know. That way no one can say I said anything."....Then the dude next to me was like, "Well, tell me. What happened?" *smdh*

But, to me, what's most egregious about these REALLY FEMININE dudes is when they're so swift to scream....."I'm a thug!", "I'm a man!", "I'm gangsta, gonna be gangsta til I die!"
But er ah....This is the one crying/screaming/throwing fits cuz the sista said she's done. The one posting songs on YouTube, Facebook, Twitter to dis her. Telling his boys she's a ho/trick/bitch.....Is she really now? Ummm, son....you was with that ho trick bitch for a minute with no complaints.....AND....it is ELEMENTARY pimp game, that when you telling a dude how freaky/nasty a chick is....What is he gonna do???? Let's all say it together-----HE'S GONNA TELL HER WHAT YOU SAID AS HE TRIES TO HOLLA AT HER!!!! #duh

So now this "gangsta" dude is REALLY mad. Calling/texting her, her friends, family...freaking out cuz she's not responding. Then the rumor spreads....She's got a new dude. She upgraded BIG TIME & she's cool.....Oh boy....here comes another virtual/cyber HISSY FIT!!! #buthe'sgangsta LMAO

Now, I would be remiss if I left this REALLY FEMININE dude out........Let me start by saying, I do know that these reality shows are addictive. I tried, but I have to admit that the little TV I watch may involve one, two....ok THREE reality shows (I LOVE TI & TINY, LOL).....but that's cool, mainly because they're geared to my demographic.....I can't even trip if you're a dude & you do become addicted to The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Basketball Wives, Love & Hip Hop, etc.....my issue is when you Facebook/Twitter beef about it!!!!! #comeonsons

Bottom Line??? I want out of this Matrix/Bizarro World!!! I want my strong MASCULINE brothers ALL BACK.....There are a lot still out there & maybe these other brothers aren't realizing the errors of their ways. But, the ones exhibiting this type of behavior have women like me looking at you REALLY sideways...and that is NOT COOL!!! SO STOP IT!!!

If any of these actions/descriptions/scenarios seem familiar to you as something you do/have seen done and you're offended by my opinion....I apologize if I struck a nerve....but NOT for what I've said.

I thank and appreciate all who will read. "Warrior keep fighting I know you're there. Keep fighting warrior I know you're there." ~ Jill Scott....Peace

The Things People Say........

I closed the door on 2012 listening to my "boo in my head"...Prince Rogers Nelson....I mean all of the cd's of his I have (which I have quite a few) are strewn all over my floor in front of the stereo waiting their turn on the 3 disc changer.

Controversy is the most appropriate theme for my life as it was in 2011. I started and ended a volatile relationship that did me (or my family) no earthly good. I still have to deal with it on some levels going into 2012....but I know everything from here on in is for the best.

I brought in this year like I did last year....Just me and my baby girl. The last of my brood. The last one who will be leaving me to start her own life in just over 18 months. I told her, as I truly believe, we're going to have a better year this year.

It may not start off exactly how we may want....but it will end in a PHENOMENAL way. The "light" I have can already see GREAT things in store.

My oldest daughter will graduate college in July. While it will be a somber day because I KNOW that her Gigi would have LOVED to see her receive her degree....it will be a TRIUMPHANT day because she did it! July can't get here fast enough! I am SUPER EXCITED!!!

My son will get his opportunity at the University of Maryland....I've already claimed that for him. He is so deserving and so driven....Then my baby girl who already has colleges filling up my mailbox. Will continue to flourish academically/emotionally.....Me? Well, I feel like I've always felt....As long as those three are ok...I'm FABULOUS!!!

I've heard all the gossip/lies/controversy being circulated about me. About how I'm living/loving....I really don't care. I'm doing me, the best me I know how to be. I'm loving for me and being loved for me. I'm still not hating, because I don't have the energy or desire to do so.....but, at the same time, I'm not taking ANY SHORTS.....

At the end of the day. In my eyes, the most important opinion about me. About what I do/see/how I live belongs to the three I nursed/comforted/cared for/fought for. The three I would lie for/die for/live for/fight for.....As long as they know who I am....who I want to be....who I will become...what I will do.....

I could care less about he said/she said/the wall said......LOL

In therapy....the main thing I always say when asked that annoying therapist's question, "Do you have thoughts of hurting/killing yourself?"....I say, "Not at ALL!!!"....Then when asked, "Why?"....I say, "I would NEVER hurt my children like that.".....They are what I LIVE for.....No one else or their opinion can trump that. I don't know why they continue to try. #strong

Follow me on Twitter @RavenAboutMe or email me at Raven@nga-radio.com

I thank and appreciate all who will read. Have a safe & prosperous new year!!! Peace