I am by no means an average person. In fact, I don't think I know anyone who is or what would determine a person as average.....
The way I remember things/people/events and the way I forget things/people/events is what I think makes me a little unique (I won't say strange, lol)....
The way I remember one year ago today is heartbreaking for me. I remember my cell phone ringing & looking at my bedside clock & noticing it was 6:34am. When I woke up today & looked at my cell phone, it read 6:34am. That sort of threw my whole morning off. I kind of get irritated at the fact that I can remember some dates/times/people really vividly at times. It seems like when I go through something life/mind altering, I remember everything to the smallest, most insignificant detail....
Like on that day, one year ago to this date...When that phone rang & I saw it was Gen...My heart jumped. She never called that early on the weekend.......When I picked up & she told me our girl was gone in her faint voice, I felt this indescribable wrenching in my stomach. Like someone was actually "wringing" me out like you would a dish towel.
I couldn't speak, rather I didn't want to speak. I never know what to ask. Never been a really "nosey" person. I've always felt the information I really need to know, someone will give me. If I have to pry/ask questions...it's really not my business........But, I knew this was my business. Thelma DEFINITELY was my business. I just couldn't find any words and knowing me, Gen knew that. So she told me what she knew, said she would call me back when she found out anything else and she left me alone.....
All who really know me, know that when I'm going through...I want to be left alone. When I need to, I reach out for help/words from the people I love. Other than that, I just want my space.
The day was clear...pretty much like it is today....I was home alone, my daughter was out. So I probably could have slept the day away...but instead, I cleaned. I don't know why cleaning is my comfort sometimes, it just is....as I was cleaning, I saw that my Rush cd was laid on the stereo console....The last time I listened to it was when Thelma was visiting me for Thanksgiving & we listened together. We both loved music you would never have thought we would listen to. But Tom Sawyer was our JAM!!!! LOL.....
It was just really strange to me that I happened to look upon that cd that day. I know I had cleaned the living room MANY times between Thanksgiving and the day I found out she was gone....I didn't remember seeing it out...but that was my cue I guess to play Rush while I cleaned...and think of my Thelma, my Twin, my <3.
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