She Really Doesn't Know......

"She always stood at the back of the line...a smile beneath her nose."

I keep the most random things in my mind about my children. While I LOVE Prince. I wouldn't say that any of my kids are Prince "fans"......In fact, I would venture to say that he got on their nerves every morning since their "wake up" revelie was Sexy MF (don't judge me, lol) or Housequake....

Starfish & Coffee is one of my oldest daughter's FAVORITE songs....That and Please Pardon Me by Rufus featuring Chaka Khan.

My oldest daughter is the child most like me. Our birthdays are only days apart. I often wonder why we're not "closer"....then I think to myself....We're not closer because we are so much alike. We don't really let people "in".

A lot between the two of us is "unspoken"....I'm not totally pleased with that and I accept responsibility for not being as communicable as I should be.

I often think of her, what/who she will be?...What her children/child will look like?....Where she will live?.............Will she ever forgive me????

As a parent, I've made mistakes....more than my share....less than some. I wish I were a "perfect" mom...but, I'm still not sure what that would entail. I can say, I've done my best. The best I know how....I wish I had been more patient, less busy, more fun.....

But, I'm always in the belief that everything/everyone happens the way it should...My faults, missteps as well as my successes in parenting are part of what makes her who she is....

Who she is, IS BEAUTIFUL....Who she is, IS SMART.....Who she is, IS LOVING....Who she is, IS PHENOMENAL!!!!!

What she really doesn't know is how much I needed her to be my baby....how much seeing her smile warms me........how much she really saved my life....how much I live for her.......How much I LOVE HER.

Happy Birthday Devin....Ma loves you more than air. <3

I thank and appreciate all who will read. Peace.