Macaroni & Cheese

With the holiday fast approaching and people eagerly anticipating the food, folks and fun.  Here I sit eagerly hoping it will hurry up and pass.  Christmas too....I just want the "season" to end.  Not being a scrooge, I am just not in the mood. Last year I went through the motions because I wanted a sense normalcy for the kids.  I don't feel like doing that dance this year. 
The children will be on an adventure together.  A road trip to DC.  I will be here and I may just want to sit here with the dogs and listen to music.  Who knows.  I don't want pity or sympathy because my plans for this holiday aren't making me sad.  I am really excited about it.  I don't have to cook if I don't want to and I don't have to go anywhere if I don't want to.  It will be a ME day....and I'm good with that. 
I was so stressed last year, when I had to cook the entire dinner myself for the first time.  Everything but the turkey, Tommy did that.  All the greens, sweet potatoes, sweet potato pies, crab legs and the macaroni & cheese.....the macaroni & cheese....
My Mama made the absolute BEST MACARONI & CHEESE I've ever had in my life!!! She would always make me a large pan because she knew that I could eat her macaroni & cheese as a meal.  I attempted to make her macaroni & cheese and FAILED MISERABLY....My feelings were so hurt.  I knew when I pulled it out of the oven it wasn't right.  I was so mad at myself because I had never asked her how to make it or never even watched her make it.  I just always assumed she would be around to make it for me, but she's not. And since that faulty attempt at macaroni & cheese on Thanksgiving Day, 2009..three weeks to the day she left me.  I haven't eaten macaroni & cheese AT ALL!!! I never did eat anyone elses and now that she's not here to make hers, I'll pass on it altogether.
I thank and appreciate all who will read. Peace.