The Sweetest Days

Vanessa is beautiful, but not half as beautiful as my Mama. I am proud to say if you asked me too I could close my eyes and describe her better than any photo could.
The little gleam in her chestnut brown eyes when she smiled. The cheekbones that damn near reached her forehead (I guess she passed those on to me). The three holes she had in each ear. How the first ones were just open slits because as a baby I would tug at her big '70's earrings and I split each ear on a different occasion. The little ball on her nose (another thing I too have). Those dark brown eyelashes and brows, and not to forget or diminish one of my FAVORITE things about her. That GORGEOUS salt & pepper hair.
Now, if you knew her when she was younger, you would know that my Mama had always kept her hair red (Ms. Clairol Auburn), I loved that color too. She dyed it once a month herself and would even dye her brows. She really only went to the salon when she didn't feel like doing her own hair or needed a haircut. Pretty much the same way I am now, even with locks. She would pin curl her hair every night which amazed me. Just using regular bobby pins sectioning and twisting each lock very close to her head. When she would take it down she would have the BEST looking full curls.
Since the day she left me I have been trying to remember the things that we've done. My first breakdown was when I thought I couldn't remember anything. I felt like I had forgotten her. It turned out to be just a brain freeze. But, I do still try to remember day to day what we did one year to a certain day. I'd always known we did something since we spent 99.9% of the time together. Either I was just coming to sit with her or take her someplace or we were on the phone. I remember how she would be mean as a snake when she was hungry. LOL
I just HATE remembering these days one year ago. They weren't the "sweetest days". They were so discouraging, confusing and stressful. I still wonder if I made the right decisions. The one thing I remember telling one nurse who called in the middle of the night to ask my permission to give her blood, "Do EVERYTHING you have to do to save her and make her feel better." The nurse told me, "I will do everything I can. You get some rest, I was told you didn't leave here until 1am." I knew she had told me her name before we started talking, but I didn't remember so I asked what it was again. She said, "Thomasina". I was FLOORED. Because Thomasina is not a "common" name and was my Mama's sister's name. Her sister who was her best friend and who had just passed away over a year before my Mama. I saw that as a sign that Aunt Tommie's angel was looking over my Mama and I was able to go right back to sleep.
I thank and appreciate all who will read. Peace.