Sigh........

Sighing is about all I can do.  Tired of crying, no energy to yell.  So I just sigh and sleep, sleep and sigh.  There has to be a way, I just haven't figured it out yet.  Things were so easy when she was here.  She would just listen and give me a "look" or she would tell me what I should do.
I guess that was another way she spoiled me.  Figuring things out for me.  Now I have to do that myself.  I have to be careful though because I have eyes watching me.  My children, who aren't really children, will learn from whatever I do.  Either they will learn what to do, or what not to do.  Pretty much the same as I did with my Mama.  But for them it's different, two of them are adults.  Doing their own thing making their own mistakes and triumphs.  My son, who I thought used to resent me as a child, called me yesterday for an ear.  Not really advice, just an ear.  I was so glad he did that.  He made my day.  I know he's going through grown man stuff and I can't take away all of his pain but I'm here to help and just listen, no judging.
I really am not sure of my next steps in life and that bothers me because I'm not a twenty year old anymore.  But, I believe I am really sure of how to get to that next step.  It's going to be difficult I know, but life really is never easy.  "No guts. No glory."
I thank and appreciate all who will read. Peace.