Independence Day

As an only child, I'm used to doing things alone and/or for myself.  It physically pains me to ask someone to do something or help me. However, I always find myself being the first to ask someone I see in need. "What do you need?"  Or observing what someone needs and taking it upon myself to help them get it done.
I've found recently that sometimes you have to ask for help.....but, you have to know WHO to ask.  There are some people who pretend to have your back only for their benefit.  Sometimes they're transparent.  Sometimes they are better actors than Sir Laurence Olivier. #realtalk
Then there are people like the few....let me say that again FEW, VERY FEW, not a lot, minute, minuscule, scant number of friends I have....that have my back, front, side, top & bottom. #realtalkagain
Sometimes you have to let your guard down and read people around you.  Sometimes they want to help and don't know how. They need you to tell them what to do, how to do it, how to help. That doesn't necessarily mean they're that person who doesn't want to help....They're just the person who needs a little "help" with helping.  lol
It really gets under my skin when people ask, "Do you want me to....?"  For instance, you see me struggling to bring bags in the house and ask, "Do you want me to help you with those?" Ummmm, no!!!! I would like to struggle and possibly break something I just bought! WTF?!?!?! LBDAS!!!
I guess I'm the personality who needs someone like myself.  Proactive, just get it done.  Have the answer before the question. #jeopardyplug lol.......In my relationships, I will ask my mate/friend for help....ONE TIME....I won't ask again, I'll either do it myself or pay someone else to do it for me.  For some reason, to me asking over and over is like begging.  The value I give myself will NOT allow me to "BEG" for ANYTHING!  Be it favors, money, time, food or LOVE.  My support system of certain family members and friends makes it unnecessary for me to have to beg.  If I ask you once and you don't do it,  I'll give a courtesy reminder and then if it's still not done....I'm doing it myself.  I won't bring it up that I had to do it because you didn't....I'll just gain more knowledge of what I can get accomplished solo and how independent I truly am.
In this new life of mine, I'm enjoying "re"-learning the things I can do.  "Re"-learning what it feels like to answer to no one.  "Re"-learning why I like being with me so much. :)

I thank and appreciate all who will read. Peace.