I Still Feel Her......

"When the day turns into the last day of all time....." <3 Prince

I've never really did anything special for my birthday. I haven't had a birthday "party" since I gave myself a 25th birthday party in _____well, let's just say that was a few years ago. :)

My last few birthdays have been EXTRA hard. This is the 3rd one since my Mama left, the 2nd since I my friend Thelma left.....

Waking up this morning I had to meditate....I needed to talk to God & Mama. I had to feel them telling me that it is ok to be happy about making another year. Even though she won't have anymore birthday celebrations, it's ok if I do. I put my conversation with Him on hold & spoke directly to my Mama.

I wanted to make sure that she understands that me having a good time doesn't mean that I don't miss her singing "Happy Birthday" to me off key while she snaps her pretty fingers & does a little dance. LOL

While I always said, "Oh Lord" when she did it. We both knew that I loved it when she did.

I know Thelma would tell me, "Girl, you betta do what you do how you wanna do it. Don't worry about me.".....I don't know what would make me think my Mama wouldn't feel the same way.

I've always known even through our good times/bad times/fusses/fights that she always wanted me to be happy.

While I sat in silence listening to her. I felt her tell me basically what I already know;

I felt her saying she loves me.

I felt her saying it's good for me to be happy.

I felt her saying it's quite alright to enjoy life.

I felt her saying.....Happy Birthday Baby!

And all I can say in response is Thank You to the most Beautiful Girl in the World! <3 Mama

I thank and appreciate all who will read. Peace.