Love Is NOT Blind

This story I've been hearing about for the past few days has been REALLY weighing heavy on my heart. A teenager stabbed to death his girlfriend, her mother and her 11 year old sister. It doesn't bother me from a personal stand point, because I haven't been a victim of domestic violence to this extent. There was one time when I was hit in my face so hard that for days my left eye was sensitive to light. That was the one time & the only time. There were NOT enough apologies or gifts that would make me forgive that. Mainly because I had not laid one hand on him when he hit me.
My Daddy would always talk to me and around me as if I was an adult. He said I was too smart to hide things from that I would eventually figure out anyway. One thing I know he had ALWAYS said to me was, "Before you hit a man, put your hands in your pocket." I didn't have to ask what he meant because it was as clear as black and white to me, even as a pre-teen who didn't even date at the time. Because, I had always had that philosophy to "keep my hands to myself" I knew that the only reason a man would ever have to want to hit me would be because of something I SAID....which is exactly what happened. I damn near lost sight in one eye because this fool didn't like what I SAID. SOOOOOOO UNACCEPTABLE.
I tried to pass my Daddy's philosophy onto my children. I've always told my daughters not to even "play fight" with boys. It's not cute/lady-like and you may run up on the little boy who doesn't care about knocking a girls block off. I tried to teach my son the same. That's where I think I may have mis-stepped.
When I think about this story, I wonder...WHY DID THE MOTHER STILL LET HIM AROUND??? I know it doesn't really matter now because they can't be brought back, but I can't help but wonder if you see signs that your child is in an abusive relationship why not help her/him in every way you can to get out of that situation!!! I'm not trying to judge, but I guess I am judging (I've said often I'm not perfect)...& since I'm on this path let me point out another observation......The mother of the murderer, where was she??? Did she see the signs of rage within him? Did she turn a blind eye or try to get him help?
Thinking about her perspective is very real to me. Because my own son has a volatile temper. I worry about that often. I have tried since he was 7 and I first noticed how angry he got about losing at Sega or Nintendo to find a way to help/calm him. However, when others don't see the same things you see and others feel that you're just a young mother reading too much into him "acting out" it is an uphill climb for someone to hear you. His paternal grandparents always thought he acted out JUST because of me. Because I had another child, because I moved to Milwaukee and let him stay with them so he wouldn't have to move around, because I didn't marry his father (who was SO not serious about the proposal)...I would fight & curse & scream for them to hear what I was saying and then at one point I just cut them off from him so I could be the parent. It may not have been the right decision, but during those months I made sure he saw the school counselor, the social worker AND a therapist to deal with his anger issues. Hell, I even had him tested for chemical imbalance. Extreme? Maybe, maybe not...Necessary? Definitely! If not only for his safety & well being, but for others....
His temper still has a very HIGH, HIGH and there unfortunately is no LOW to speak of...with him, either you're with him or DEAD WRONG...All I can do as the one who still looks at the C-Section scar he caused everyday is LOVE, LOVE, LOVE him in spite of himself....meditate/pray for solace in his heart and hope that eventually he will come to a place of peace....He's a man now, can't hold him close under my neck & kiss his forehead like I used to...ALTHOUGH I REALLY WISH I COULD.
I thank and appreciate all who will read. I'll try to make them shorter (NOT) :)...Peace