Let it Snow......

It is often said, "Be careful what you ask for, you just might get it."  If you think about snow, people who like it or think it's pretty can't wait for that first cover of snow (I'm not one of those people).  As I cleared off the driveway and walk of "my" house, which this same time last year was still my Mama's house and I hadn't decided what I was going to do with it.....I thought about how I always tried to make sure that when snow came her path was clear.  I didn't want her to fall or anything to happen to her.  So, if my husband didn't do it the first time I asked, I was going to hop into my thermal snowsuit (like the one's construction workers wear) and get out there and get rid of the snow for her.
Recently, I've been asking for a lot of other things.  Only because I am hoping it will help me get better.  The most notable thing I've asked for is SPACE. Space to figure out what is important to me.  Space to figure out if this is where/how I want to be.  Space to determine just what's good for me and mine.
I haven't really had my wishes granted, I'm really trying to even get them acknowledged.  I do have a tough exterior and can be very direct (especially with outsiders who I feel may be mistreating me or my family).  However, to REALLY know me, you would understand that the last thing I want is a bunch of drama/disorder/conflict.  I'm not a yeller/screamer type of girl.  The best way to win an argument with me is to start getting loud or talking over me.  I will stop talking altogether.  Mainly, because I don't have a loud voice & because if I start yelling I get mad & if I get mad I CRY!  & that makes me EVEN MADDER.  As I am writing tonight there is no one here but me.  Home alone, but happier than Macaulay Culkin was, because I think I asked for this....strike that, I did ask for this.  Just me and the dogs about to turn in on a Saturday night.  Nothing planned for Sunday morning, just relaxation and quiet....
I'm hoping to have time to sort things out, to make decisions and changes.  Of course that's a lot to ask for in one night.  Dylan will be back tomorrow and the quiet will be no more, lol....but it is a start....and I REALLY need to start deciding what's next...I thank and appreciate all who will read. Peace.