Too Much at Times...........

I am an evolving entity...To know me years back I'm different, BUT NOT THAT MUCH DIFFERENT...
I've always been a loner.  Never "needed" to be in a crowd of people.  Can be very content to be by myself or with my kids all day and don't like for company to "over-stay".
One way where I am VERY different is that I don't hold my tongue as much as I used to...A friend I had not spoken with in years recently said to me, "You hold a lot of shit in and then BLOW UP!"...He was ABSOLUTELY CORRECT! LOL.....to an extent.....I don't do that half as much as I used to. Just with certain people, again, not to cause drama.  However, I find that these same people can give less than a damn about what they bring up to me, or how it will make me feel.
A few days ago a friend and I had an argument because she felt I said something out of line.  Maybe, the TIMING was out of line, because I really should have brought it up as soon as it was brought to me.  But, now that I re-evaluate, what was said was NOT out of line because she would have said the same to me, only SOONER.  So my apology was offered for WHEN it was said, not WHAT.  If our friendship is forever damaged/ruined because of it then it was time for the friendship to end.  I have other things to focus on.  Not saying I wouldn't miss the friendship, but it is what it is.
Another way, my imperfect self needs work is with my bluntness and "matter of fact" way I give information.  Some people, although they say they want to know DON'T want to know everything and others don't NEED to know everything unless they ask.  Honestly, even if they ask they don't need to know.
A lot of times, I will ask a question and before I get an answer I'll say, "Never mind, I don't want to know."  It may be irritating to the person I'm speaking to who may WANT to give me the answer, but I've become a believer (because I learned the hard way) that if you LOOK for something you WILL find it.
Becoming the person I am today, I want to lay all of my cards out on the table because I really don't mind people knowing who RAVEN is.  I would prefer you know me straight up and then decide if you want to be bothered with me or not.  Either way, I'll survive.  I'm beginning to think I need to hold back on that.  It seems as if people don't understand that just because you used to be a certain way or you used to do certain things you can't CHANGE AND GROW.  The 8 to 12 yr old Rae-Rae is not the 13-17 yr old Raven, is not the 18 - 25 year old Rae, is not the 25-34 yr old Raven Hall  and is definitely not the 35 - 42 yr old Raven Kamara Hall-Cox...She's different. More mature, more enlightened, more careful, more sincere, more loving, more nurturing and more MORE....I will have to accept that not all are ready for Raven Kamara....but I AM ready for her and I LOVE HER D-O-W-N! :)
I thank and appreciate all who will read. Peace.