Breathing......

I think I've said before that I'm blogging mainly for myself and don't really care what others think/feel about what I'm saying. If I offend, in advance, I offer NO apology....this is MY personal journey. If you chose to read, I can't/won't/don't want to stop you, but I don't want to/can't/won't censor what I put here.
With that disclaimer out of the way, let me start.....aside from seasonal/dust allergies, my respiratory system is pretty much in tact. No breathing problems to speak of, no asthma, bronchitis and only second hand smoke. I can say however, at this very moment, I feel like I have a plastic bag over my head!!!
I feel like "Every Breathe I Take" is labored and takes so much more effort. Which is so much more exhausting.
I should be able to just let it all go, exhale one good time and be done. Life is so not that easy. There is too much at stake in the 360 degree circle of the universe. I often say I'm not sure of the doctrines that man chooses to follow. I've grown up reading the Bible. I've also read the Quran and the Book of Mormon....Not saying I don't BELIEVE, just a little unsure. A lot of the "stories", more particularly their interpretation by man intrigue me to say the least.
What I do believe in is tangibles. Things I can see, touch, feel and prove. I had a very good friend in high school and early adulthood named Darren (Magic)....I remember one day, we were sitting around talking and he noticed a crucifix I wore around my neck. It was a gift from the guy I was dating at the time. It was gold on a very delicate chain (I've always preferred smaller chains because of my frame I guess)....I thought it was very pretty because it was very detailed.....Magic looked at the chain and said, "So you gangster now?" I looked confused. He said, "So, you're wearing murder weapons around your neck." Then I understood....Magic & I were both Pisces, he was just a little over a week younger than me, but it seemed like he was years older....Without him elaborating any further on what he said, I never wore that crucifix or any other again...To date, the only reason I have a cross in my home is because the Missionary Society at church presented me with one in honor of my Mama.
I do wear an Ankh on the upper right side of my back. To me the Ankh represents my heritage...my motherhood...my womanhood.....It is a kemetic symbol that represents LIFE....as a woman, I am a giver of LIFE. Of BREATH....I have PROUDLY done that on more than one occasion....I am PROUD of the woman who did the same for me....
Now with that all being said, I have to wonder why/how am I allowing myself to give away the breath that was awarded to me??? The life that is never guaranteed (case in point, my friend Magic is gone)...The life that is lived not only for ME but in honor of and for others???
I thank and appreciate all who will read. Peace.