Sitting outside my daughter's driving school waiting on her to finish class, I'm reflecting on the times I've spent with my children. She is the last one to live in the house with me, attend driving class, graduate, become an adult.....Soon enough, maybe too soon, she will be out on her own....and so will I...............
I have had a child since I was 17 years old, so I've never known adulthood without having to care for a child. Just like she will be embarking on a new chapter of her life, so will I......
I can never say I tried to be the kind of mother my Mama was, because every person is different. She was a great Mama for me, but I had to be a different Mama for them. I definitely won't say I was perfect, neither was my Mama. Who was ever a perfect parent? If they say they were, they're lying......I made mistakes, because every aspect of each of their lives brought a new learning experience. Each toddler temper tantrum was different, although each one of them got their behinds tore up behind it, lol.....Each junior high, he say/she say drama was different. Each time though, they had to work that out on their own. I never get involved in kids' mess, I have a friend who does and I think she is so silly for even engaging that nonsense....Each high school crush, teenage rebellion and college decision was different and had to be dealt with on it's own merits......
For my Mama I guess it was a relief that she only had the one child to go through this with....I have three. *shrug*.....I learn something different from every situation and how I respond to it. While I should be teaching them, I'm learning as well.
I've always known that I can't be their friend one hundred percent of the time. Also, that a parent/friend is different from any friend relationship you will ever have. Because their has to be boundaries and limits to what you will and won't do in your friendship. For example, we can go to the movies together, but we can't go to the club together. Some parents may not mind, but I just would never want to be in a club with my child. Their kind of club is generally not my kind of club and vice/versa.
Another boundary I've set, just because it's how I was with my parents, is that I don't want my kids swearing around me. Now, I'm not an idiot, I know they do it...Hell, I do it. (Thus my full swear jar, lol)....I just think it is a matter of respect. I didn't swear in front of my parents. Of course since my Mama lived with me at one time, she may have walked up on me having a conversation and one may have slipped. If I saw her, I would immediately say, "Oh Mama, I'm sorry." She would laugh and just wave her hand like it didn't matter. Which I know it didn't matter to her if I swore in front of her, that was just something I felt I shouldn't do, so I don't want my kids doing it in front of me. ESPECIALLY not the youngest, she's only 15....
What I've always tried to express to my children is to expand their vocabulary, now while sometimes a properly placed expletive can release a LOT of frustration and make you feel SO MUCH BETTER....You should have an extensive enough vocabulary to be able to have a complete conversation without using ONE...Unfortunately, there are many kids and adults alike that are not able to do this. Every other word is an expletive or a filler word (e.g. uh, you know, well, etc.)......
I may not have had the Huxtables for parents (who has), but I had some DAMN GOOD ones and they taught me a great deal about respect and love. I hope I have been even half as successful as they are with this parenting thing....I sure do try hard. :)
I thank and appreciate all who will read. Peace.
No comments:
Post a Comment