Missing You So.............

"& every minute you're gone, I'm missing you so.........."

This song's message is powerful. It really doesn't apply to my pain, but I feel my Mama every time I hear it.....Especially the one line, "and every minute you're gone, I'm missing you so." I've said before I can find a connection with my Mama in just about every song I hear now. Even song's like, "You Fancy, Huh" make me think about her. I know she would like that and would probably sit in the car chair dancing to it. Besides that she always kept her "hair done, nails done, everything did", lol.......

Today this BEAUTIFUL song that is sung so BEAUTIFULLY by Marsha Ambrosius of Floetry came on the radio while I was in the car. It's funny because I usually listen to my cd's the entire time I'm in the car on the weekends. During the week I only listen to the radio in the morning for the Tom Joyner Morning Show or in the afternoon, for the Doug Banks Show. But just before I was going to hit disc #4 and listen to some Stevie Wonder, I heard this song come on. Another weird thing about when this song came on, I looked up at a Fagen Pharmacy sign.......

Now you may say, "So what?" You're right, nothing is really special about Fagen Pharmacy. In fact I use Walgreens more. But, the sign just made me think of the Fagen Pharmacy on 5th ave and Broadway that I went to on October 26, 2009....the day my nightmare started. After I held my hand out to my Mama's doctor for her to give me her prescription, she said to me that it can be filled right down the street at Fagen Pharmacy for $4. I asked my Mama if she wanted me to take it there she said yes.....So before I took her home I stopped to drop off the prescription. I remember from the time I left the doctor's office with her my stomach was in one big knot. I also remember being irritated when I got to the pharmacy and they said it wouldn't be ready for an hour.......

I took her home so she could eat, then drove back to pick up the prescription. I knew it wouldn't be ready when I got there, I just needed to sit by myself for a minute because I felt like I was gasping for air....I needed a wide open or at least solitary space.

Keep in mind this was not the point where everything started to spiral down. This was just the beginning. When the doctor made me think a few blood tests and some medicine was going to fix everything.....but something in me that day made me physically ill, I felt nauseous, I didn't know at that time why I did....I do know now.

It just pains me that I can be having an "alright" day and one thought takes me away to that hurtful place. Not even a particular day, not even a particular place, just a thought of something that happened or something that was said and I'm back to wanting to just curl up in my bed (which is where I am now)...................

I thank and appreciate all who will read. Please take time to watch this video and receive the message from this song and then pass it on. Peace