Another song that triggers a thought but really has nothing to do with how I'm feeling.....Just the words "you again" make me think I'm going back to that place again.....
Believe it or not, I STILL haven't unpacked my bag from when I went to Indianapolis to say goodbye to my Twin. I don't know why, I just haven't. Not only that, I slept so long yesterday and today it was like I had jet lag. When I came in the house yesterday afternoon I promptly returned to my bed, to my pillow, turned on the music channel, rolled on my stomach and went to sleep.......Woke up, just to go to McDonald's to pick up dinner....Then I saw something on my drive that hit me hard, gave me that feeling like I've been punched in the gut....So after I got back home, I got back in the bed.
Months ago this was my thing. Staying in bed not moving, not being productive, only doing things I HAD to for the house or my daughter. I thought since I changed up some things in my life, that would change. I did start to feel better when I made the change, but now, not so much. Again being the person I am I don't want to speak about what's bothering me because I don't really know. Or I may know and I know there's nothing I can do about it....I think that's more it than anything.....
It's just amazing to me how I can spend days/weeks without sleep or restful sleep, then all of the sudden I can't get enough of it. I know you can't "catch up on sleep", once it's gone it's gone.....But if it were ever possible, I would be caught up and even passed my sleep.
I don't want to go "back" to that place, because that place was/is not helpful to me. It doesn't provide me any comfort at all. Besides that I never want to go "back", I'm trying to move "forward", on to better things.....................
I thank and appreciate all who will read. Peace.
No comments:
Post a Comment