Who Indeed.............

When certain things happen in your life it can sometimes be hard to adjust to the change they cause.  It seems like you have be born again, because everything is different and new.  I've spoke often of the adjustments I've had to make over the past year and a half.
I consider myself a loner, mainly because I don't have a problem with being alone.  I grew up alone.....Sometimes when I'm with people I WANT TO BE ALONE.  LBS......I don't do "drop-ins" or "stop-bys" on people because I don't want them to do it to me.  I HATE THAT....and I don't use the word "hate" usually.  I'm using it now to express how much I dislike it.  I think it's rude.  One of the ladies from my church does it ALL THE TIME and it's freaking annoying.  Then when she does it and I say I'm busy or appear rushed, she will still talk like I haven't said anything........
Well, today I had more "company" than I like in my house.  My daughter was getting her hair braided, so it was the girl doing her hair and the girls boyfriend (I have no idea why she brought him or why he wanted to stay all  those hours while she was braiding. *kanye shrug*).  Then I had 2 drop-ins....Well, I'll say one and a half, since one of the drop-ins called and said they were turning the corner into my driveway. #ugh
I mean I'm hospitable, civil or what have you....but nevertheless it is irritating...UNLESS it is someone I really want to be around...like my kids, my man, my best friend.  The rest can beat it.  Now in the midst of all this in and out activity I felt so ALONE.  I had something heavy on my head and did not see one person (aside from my child) that I could confide in.  No one to tell my troubles to.....
Now you "religious" people who may read this, I know I can always tell God my problems....and yea, that's all fine and dandy, but sometimes you just want to say out loud how you feel so that you can get feedback/encouragement/support.
Sometimes you just want to speak out loud and let another person listen to what you are saying.  Sometimes you want their input....sometimes you want them to STFU.....
When I went through things and needed to "vent"....I always took it to my GIRL, my Mama....so what do I do now?  Who can I trust with all my problems? Who do I burden with my issues?  How do I continue to live  seemingly care free and relatively unscathed by things that would tear another woman to shreds?  I don't know how I do it now.....Back then I had my Mama who listened and fussed and sighed, but offered solutions when I asked or when I didn't .....So who do I have now?.................

I thank and appreciate all who will read.  Peace