I Made It.............

"I'm stronger. I'm wiser. I'm better. Much better...."

Yesterday I turned 43.....My 2nd birthday my Mama couldn't celebrate with me.  Last year my birthday felt worse than the day she left me. It felt like she was leaving me all over again. I did get out of bed, but only to lay on the couch and cry. I just laid there and let the television look at me.

When I get up in the morning I open blinds to let sunlight in. That's just another one of my "things". Last year on my birthday was no different. As I laid on the couch with my swollen eyes and red nose, I happened to look out the window for a while.

What I noticed, looking out that window was that the sun was shining VERY BRIGHT, and it was BEAUTIFUL....Like she did it just for me.

Today was a little different, while it was gloomy and rainy....it was unseasonably warm and very comfortable. I would like to think she did that as well. LOL

This year I was able to get out of the house and take care of business and even went to see my friend Billie Jean do a comedy show (and she was pretty good, lol). I was back to moving around and the best part was not having anyone to answer too. I laughed a lot today....But, I cried a lot too............Not as much as last year, but still a lot.

I spent the early part of the day doing my daily runs and volunteering, then I did exactly what I wanted to do.....GO HOME & listen to some music & just relax/meditate/pray---basically NOTHING, lol. I sat in my bed listening to music and meditating on my parents and how I feel about them not being here to celebrate another birthday with me.....I cried a lot, but more of a good cry than sorrow. There were a lot more laughs than last year as well.

I'm of course ELATED that this birthday didn't end like the last, I'm glad it was better than last year and I didn't stay in the house all day. Even though the club wasn't my cup of tea I just enjoyed being "out"......
Now,I'm ready to tackle this year head on. To do things I haven't done before and some things that I need to do different. I'm embarking on a new chapter and you can "read up" on me if you like, lol.....................

I thank and appreciate those who will read. Peace.