It's so funny how things/feelings/attitudes can change in a blink of an eye. I know some people that I tend to think are bi-polar (clinically...and I'm serious). I avoid them at all cost. I deal with my own issues trying to kick this "depression" I'm in. So I have no desire to take on anyone else's "thang". I don't think I actually could if I wanted to.
I tend to be drawn to people I think will "save" me. That's the selfish part of me. Looking for someone to do something for me before I determine whether or not I can be a help to them or if we can help EACH OTHER. This is nothing that I'm proud of or seriously TRY to do. I think I mainly do it because I like a certain "kind" of person around me. Someone who reminds me of my mother or my father or myself. Because I REALLY like those people. :)
The problem with the people I'm drawn to is that they may not be drawn to me in the same way. They may not want my friendship, companionship or love. Sometimes that breaks my heart, because I think, "Who couldn't love this face?" LMAO....Seriously, when I find someone I feel drawn to it's like a love at first sight. I feel I know them and 99% of the time I'm right about our compatibility. The problem comes when they aren't sure how to read me. Or they read me the wrong way. I think I would prefer you not know how to take me than to take my actions or words the wrong way. Not understanding is much easier to address than a complete miscommunication.
I'll be the first to say sometimes I'm an OVER-ANALYZER....yet another character flaw. #human....I also sometimes need things to be "Broken down for me like I'm a five year old." *Denzel in Philadelphia voice*....I can't stand miscommunication, so in order to get a clear understanding, I need a breakdown/outline/game plan..........The game changes so quick, I'm not keeping up. I'm failing.....I hate to fail. :(
I thank and appreciate all who will read. Peace.
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