Hardly Ever...............

Laying in bed all day sick as a dog gave me lots of things to think/dream about.  I had a few dreams about teens I know being pregnant, couldn't place a face, they just kept calling me "Ms. Raven" (what most of my kid's friends call me).  I just know none of the faces belong to my teen.  I wonder if that means she could be the one I'm dreaming of, but I know that's not the case. (Just take my word on that, lol).  I had a few more dreams about insignificant things I can't really put a finger on.  But, what stood out most were my thoughts.  My thoughts of Mama and what she would be thinking/doing/saying right about now.
I know when I didn't feel well, even as an adult she would make me tea or a hot toddy (basically tea & whisky, lol).  I miss that oh so much.  At one point I even thought I felt her sitting at the foot of my bed asking me how I felt.  Maybe that was another one of my dreams.
So many things have happened that hardly ever happened while she was here.  I hardly ever got sick like this.  Allergies of course, but hardly ever a cold or flu even.  There's more drama than when she was here, that hardly ever occurred, because neither one of us would indulge or entertain it.  I'm not a fan of it now, it's just kind of "appearing" in my life.  One thing that's the same as when she was here, I won't indulge or entertain any of the nonsense that is trying to appear.  I remain "leery" of "suspect" individuals who say they mean me no harm or that they're trying to "help" me.  I can really help myself.  I've hardly ever needed someone to carry or do things for me, so I won't start now.
My Mama was always my support.  I knew that with WHATEVER she had my back and would look out for me and help me.  Now that she's gone I have to have my own back as well as look out for my children.  I wasn't prepared for this test of strength, but I did always excel at pop quizzes because I always paid attention.  I am so glad I paid attention to what my Mama was saying to me when she was here.  She was basically telling me what to do and how to do it now that she's not.  I appreciate her for that.............

I thank and appreciate all who will read. Peace.