The Littlest One.............

I started not to write today...I don't like to write through pain & tears, which is what I'm feeling right now.  I am not at all a perfect person.  I have faults and I accept them.  I know I can be sort tempered, moody, sarcastic & mean sometimes.  I'm not proud of any of that.  What I am proud of is that along with that I am loving, caring, strong and kind most of the time.
It may take me a while to find my faults, but once they are validly brought to my attention, it is NOTHING for me to say something like, "I see, or you're right." I wish that was something I had passed along to my children, but it doesn't look that way. :(
I'm not going to elaborate on that, I'm just going to focus on the LITTLEST ONE.  The youngest one, the one who is most like my Mama in the way she cares about me.  It's funny because she & my Mama usually bumped heads & my Mama would fuss at her a lot because she thought she was lazy & spoiled but my Mama did love her and in her own way she was trying to make her better.  Which I think she did.  The littlest one, Dylan, still may sleep until noon or 1pm on a Saturday and she may be moody & mean at times. But all of that (sans the wake up time) is my Mama. And what she'll do when she does get moving is make sure she's done her part to make sure our home is clean and organized. I can't remember the last time I had to tell her to do dishes.  I can just cook, go sit down & know that eventually she will clean the kitchen AND clean it well.  I know that all I have to do is separate the clothes in the laundry room and she will wash, dry & fold.
Only sometimes will she ask for assistance, which I tease her about then do anyway.
The littlest one, is mature WELL beyond her years.  To speak with her, you wouldn't think she was only 15.  She has a compassionate outlook on things.  Especially when they pertain to me.  Maybe because she's the one who's here and sees the tears dried up on my face in the morning or me staying in bed all day or me dragging around the house not having energy to do anything but move to another chair to sit.  She can be very self absorbed at times wanting things her way by any means (I guess that's the part of me in her), but when she steps back and thinks about a situation where she may have stressed me or been disrespectful she will come back and apologize or if it's something we BOTH did we will talk it out together & get past it.
I can tell the littlest one needs me to be here and needs me to get better.  That's what I say to myself every day/night when I meditate.  I have always had a plan B for her in case something does happen while she's still young, but I'm going to stick with plan C to make sure I get better to be around for her the way she's around for me.
I thank and appreciate all who will read. Peace