Glaze Me.....

"You scream I'm lazy. You must be crazy. Thought I was a doughnut, you tried to glaze me." <3 Rakim

I really think sometimes I think TOO MUCH.  I really get offended when I think someone is insulting my intelligence.  I don't like it one bit.  I ESPECIALLY don't like it when I can't really speak on it or let the person know I know they're full of shit. LBS
I'm finding it comfortable adjusting to the new changes in my life.  I know that I've done what's best for me and I know that this was the time to do something for ME instead of the usual living for other people.  I've lived for my kids (which I still do and will continue) and I've lived for my husband.  Now it's my time.  When I think about my life, the only person I didn't live for was my Mama....she lived for me.
I love to think about the little things she did for me.  How she ran my house for me when the Post Office had me away from home from sun up to sun down.  How I never worried, like I do now if everything was ok.   I never got a phone call from home unless it was her calling to tell me about some foolishness that happened, or that I needed to pick up something for her or just to talk.
I can not tell you how much I miss that long "Helllllooooo" she used to do.  For the past 11 almost 12 years I've committed to a relationship.  I've been part of a "team". My Mama and I were a team as well (Mama & Baby tag team, lol)...Now I'm back on my own and while I'm a little apprehensive (with good reason).  I know that this was the best decision for all involved.  Most of my apprehension comes from the fact that when I was single before, I always had my Mama and even my Daddy to help me through the hard times, when money got tight, when the kids got out of control or when I just needed to scream/cry/shout.
I miss the frustrated look she would give me when she KNEW I was going overboard with something and she was just waiting for me to shut up so she could tell me I was wrong.  (I would talk more to prolong hearing it, lol.)  I remember overhearing an argument when I was about 15 or 16 between her and my Nana when my Nana was telling her that I didn't do anything but lay around the house.  She told her, "That's a lie and you know it.  One thing my child is not is LAZY." :)
While I love nothing more than laying in my bed, she is right.  Lazy isn't my persona, I have a need to get things done.  I will get things done.  I will get through these obstacles to my happiness and persevere.  I am not a doughnut, can't be glazed. :)While I'm not where I want to be in terms of life/love/happiness.  I'm getting there by the grace of God and by the love of Mama (because I still FEEL her).

I thank and appreciate all who will read. Peace.